In the end, what is Sadness?

I still remember his sad eyes.

According to what people were used to say, He was a strong person. He was the kind of guy that knows what he wants and always gets it. But, to be honest, I never care to what the others think or say.

Sometimes, people are so convinced to know who you really are, how you feel, how you react to certain circumstances. But no one is able to see beyond the masks that we all wear.

He is gone. He decided to embark on a trip that allows no one to go back. He did it with a rope around his neck. He got the courage to face Death, because he was tired of fighting for his Life.

He decided for himself, and for his relatives too.

Even though his family was like “He is fine!”, “He loves his family!”, “He is a strong man, he can do this!”, no one seems to have noticed the sadness in his eyes, the torment toward a life that gave him the pleasure of being a good Father, but the disgrace of living an awkward economic situation. I can imagine how frustrating it can be for a Father to tell his child “Honey, forgive me. I don’t have enough money to give you a meal, today.”. It is humiliating. It is a personal failure. It’s something that keeps you awake every single night.

But no one would have never expected a tragedy like this, because He.. He was strong…

HE WAS. Indeed.

But he fell into the shades of sadness. He fought against his monsters until he exhausted his strength. Day by day, he did his best by standing on the right side of the law. He repressed bitter tears, by showing up his best smile, to motivate his family. And still, no one offered words of comfort or just a hug to that Father who was trying to find out how to get out of that nightmare.

The Lady was busy with the house cleaning, the Children were too busy with their studies, his “friends” were used to think about women, sex and football. On the other hand, they had no problems. And those who have no problems at all, they just live in Wonderland. Until you receive THAT call: “He is gone.”. Then, you try to figure out what happened to him, what was going on in his head. You try to understand what kind of thing can drive a man to such an extreme act. You think… And think once more, until your head feels like it will explode soon. Because for YOU this is something inconceivable. It takes guts to do that, right?!

But He cried and fought, until the end, against that sick desire of getting away with his life. But when people around you are blind and deaf and mute, who are not able to strive to understand your feelings, Sadness takes over your mind and you reach the final battle against yourself.

Gestures and words can hurt people, but can also heal their feelings.

We think we know everything about our dear ones, until we realize that everything we knows is based on what they share on Facebook or what they post on Twitter.

Nowadays, dinner-time seems to be the perfect occasion where people can listen to the news about tragedies that happen somewhere, far away from our homes, instead of being the perfect time where people can talk about their good or bad day.

Sadness is dictated by Desperation. That kind of Desperation that throws you in a ravine with no hooks to get out of there. And people from Wonderland look at you from above, while you are desperately trying to find a way to climb up those walls around you. You do that for the pleasure of saying “I made it on my own!”, “I need no one!”, “I don’t want to be a burden for you.”. But we must remember ourselves that we weren’t born out of nowhere.

We have NEVER been alone, nor will we ever be.

And the day you’ll find yourself speaking out loud, saying “I am alone!”, remember yourself that you are wrong. If you feel alone is because YOU want to be alone. But as soon as you will scream out for help, there will be people ready to give you a hand. Those people won’t be as many as your virtual friends, but they will be the ones that truly care about you and that decided to share their lives with you. It can be a Mother, a Father, a Friend.. They will always be there for you, if you allow ‘em.

Sadness is just the result of an inexistent and imaginary solitude. Do not allow an illusion to consume you inside and let it make of you what it wants.

Open your heart. You won’t regret it.